i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
