alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
zippers are such a cool invention
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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