You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
