I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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