shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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