jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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