I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
