I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
