it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
