I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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