we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
