At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
