Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just want nice things and good sex
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
