She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
