We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
