Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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