atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
