I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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