Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
