C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
