I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You have to summon your inner elephant
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
