so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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