You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
