it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
