How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
