I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
