Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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