like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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