nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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