I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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