He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
