I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
