We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
