I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
