I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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