I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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