you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
