grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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