sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
