therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
