these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
