YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
