Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
