I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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