I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
well you can't waste a boner
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
