OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
