could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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