that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
