lets start a swedish sibling band together
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
