He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
